Where's the Poop

You just don't know the joys of preschooler-wrangling until you find yourself crawling around your house in a complete frenzy, nose as guide, looking for the misplaced product of your child's anus.  And he's no help, telling me that it's on the couch (it's not), on the TV, on the ceiling, etc.  Add to that a front office where any customer might appear and be insulted by either the olfactory long note: P-O-O-P, or the panic-stricken screaming three-year-old in the background: "I'm pooping!  I'm pooping!" who finds himself in the unfortunate situation of not wanting to poop in either a pair of diapers, or in any sort of potty.  Try to do it and not say "SHIT" at any point in time.  Try.