While I was a senior in college, and still living on campus (my parents' noble attempt to keep me safe in a pretty sketchy part of Brooklyn), I scored a sweet apartment with my own bathroom and balcony. I also got an awesome apartment mate, Aubri. At a willowy six feet tall, she's disarmingly beautiful, simply a goddess. She's also one of the most kind, genuine and sensitive people that I've ever known. She only lived in my apartment for a few months, until it was time to move onto her sixth college in three years, but we made such an impression on each other that we've been close ever since. She visits when she can since I am almost always immobile with responsibility, and the rest of the time I miss her terribly and intend to call her more than I do. She's my best friend even though she now lives in San Francisco, which seems to be the coolest place to go if I like you a lot and yet you still need to leave. Seriously, it's happened like four times now.
Aubri came to visit me last week. We went inner tubing, horseback riding, we ate at an Indian Restaurant where the manager tried to pick her up (which of course happens all the time) and had multiple therapy sessions, which is what happens when we sit and talk. Like every time. It's a bit exhausting. It seems like it's been something of a catalyst for taking a good hard look at things and reassessing, and at three months into our reuniting, it's about time. The Cap'n and I have undeniably slipped into some of our old undesirable behaviors, and I've been pretending that the year apart didn't really happen (would that it were so!), and all that has to stop.
The other thing her visit underlined is that I have got to find some good friends around here. Or hey, just one. I wish it came easily. Oh how I wish. But as I sat in that Indian restaurant, and found that there were tears streaming down my cheeks as I thought about how much I love and miss my friend, I realized that I miss having a wonderful woman in my life.
So, I'm going to make an honest effort. I'm going to enroll in some yoga classes, I'm going to make time to hang out in coffee shops, I may even start acupuncture sessions so that I can get to know this one woman who seems like she could be a good lead...though now that I write it that seems a tad too desperate and pretty icky. And expensive. Yeah.