Been awhile since I caught up on the things that piss me off about our guests. And everyone loves gripey bitch lists. Note: I am in a bad mood.
#832 - Sleeping on top of the quilts. And I'm not just talking about landing on top drunk occasionally, it is a practice among some. In response, I'm going to put something out there: although it may be an uncomfortable fact for the general public to realize, motels, hotels and inns of all varieties don't wash the bedspread every time. We typcially wash ours every two or (tops) three uses, and if I had to guess we're running way ahead of most other places. Not only is it time-consuming to wash them every time, it's really pretty unnecessary, that is, assuming that people follow the rules of the bed and GET IN. I suppose the sheet-shunners may be uncomfortable with the concept of sleeping in strange beds, and as the Cap'n said, one would usually rather borrow someone's jeans than their underwear. So, I get that. But, I'll say it again: sheets are always clean; bedspreads, sometimes. So GET IN.
#833 - Sleeping with their heads on the shams. Even when folks brave the inside of the beds (sheesh) they still miss this other all-important rule of the bed that so many are ignorant of. At our place, we provide two sets of pillows: one with a standard pillowcase for resting one's weary head upon, and one that is decoratively placed in a sham that matches the quilts. Cute, right? Now, referring to #832, you can presume that along with the quilts, the shams are only washed every other time or so, and that if you want to plant your noggin on something clean, you should undoubtedly choose the one with the freakin pillowcase on it. But no, 75% of the time (to be exact) they use the shams, which then smell like head, and then we have to wash the whole set. Why not just wash the shams? Because it's just bad practice, so quit asking.
#834 - Stealing our ice. Because we don't have a fancy ice machine like the chain motels, we installed a little chest freezer at the end of the motel to hold bags of ice that we purchase for around $2 each. In the month since we put it in place, can I tell you how many times people from the cottages march up, grab an entire bag of the stuff, and toss it in their cooler for the day? Like at least eight. Do we have to put up an irritating sign that makes it clear that the ice is meant for the people in the motel only, and only for their little buckets? I mean seriously, the convenience store is a mile away, and presumably they went there anyway for whatever they are putting on ice, so just shell out the damn $2 and stop taking advantage of our simulated generosity.
#835 - Extreme punctuality. If I say that the coffee's ready at 8 am, and if at 8 o'clock and twenty-nine seconds you approach the front door, which still says CLOSED, just assume that the whole morning process took a tad longer on this particular day, and don't start peering in the windows and knocking insistently. You're right, I said what I said, but don't make me let you in and make awkward conversation until the coffee's ready. Come back in five minutes and, hey, chill the fuck out.
There's more, lots more, but sometimes the bile runs low and so I'm going to take a break.