Top 10 signs that you're kind of over being a dog owner*

1. Instead of enjoying the sound of beating tails as a sign of affection, you go over there with a huff and tuck the noisemakers under their bodies.
   
   
2. Their dinner is no longer a tantalizing gravy-licious mixture.  Now it's just the wet, still in can-form, with a scoop of dry thrown on top.
   
   
3. Treats are offered when affection is requested.
   
   
4. You take them for long, exhaustive walks only to ensure that they're so tapped they'll leave you alone for a few hours.
   
   
5. They haven't had a bath in so long that they've developed a protective shell and the wax is glaciating out of their ears.
   
   
6. You downgrade the quality of their food a notch.  You can't spend $150 on food every month anymore, and after all, the longer you give them the good stuff, the longer you'll be spending $150 a month.
   
   
7. You're so bossy with them that even the baby yells in an authoritative manner when he sees them.
   
   
8. When they're MIA on a walk, 1% of you hopes that they're off finding another home.
   
   
9. The pet names and silly voices used for your amusement's sake are growing more and more derogatory.
   
   
10. It's been about 3 years since they've been to the vet.  But vaccines last longer than they say, right?

* Disclaimer!  I honestly love our dogs.  But there are days like this...